Today I am missing my Mom a lot.
My sweet baby won't sleep - he's never slept through the night, but now he's teething on top of it. Ugh! So my pediatrician gave me a pep talk yesterday that it's time for me to start sleep training... Shut the door and let him cry... blah. blah. Not exactly the suggestions I was hoping for. Then we had a really rough night. He cried for hours, even as we held him. So now here I am, tired and completely overwhelmed by what to do next. I just want to call my Mom.
The funny thing is that I know exactly what she'd say. She'd tell me to close the door, take a walk and let him cry. I've never wanted to disagree with someone so badly! I know that there would be more to the conversation than this... she'd support me and make me feel better. She'd probably tell me to take a bath and try and relax a little. She'd reassure me. But ultimately, she was a believer in crying it out. So ultimately, we'd disagree about this.
I'm sad that I can't disagree with her. That I can't just call her and hear that everything is going to be OK. It made me think of all the things that I took for granted.
Then this afternoon one of my dear friends told me that her Mom's birthday was coming up. They don't have a terribly close relationship. But as she was writing out her Mom's birthday card, she thought of me, and instead of just signing her name she wrote a note to tell her Mom a few things that she appreciated about her. It made my day.
It's been hard to see what the bigger lessons in all of this might be. But I am certain that if one person appreciates their Mom just a little bit more - even for one day! - some of this is worth it.
I know how lucky I was to have such an incredible bond with my Mom. I know it's not typical. I know how special it was. But I also know that no mother sets out to have a bad relationship with their kids. No mother wants to screw up. So even when your mother drives you crazy - when she tells you to let your baby cry and can't understand why you don't want to - appreciate her. Appreciate that at least you're able to disagree.
Today, all I want is to call my Mom and disagree.