Deep Breaths

Buying a Mother's Day card for someone 5 months after your mother dies is no easy task. 

Oy.

Taking deep breaths.

A Hot Bath

Jack and I have been battling a cold for a few days and tonight I was feeling really miserable. Just tired and achy.  My Nan called to check up on us and she gave me brilliant advice. She told me to try "Mom's medicine" a hot bath (said with her lovely British accent), a cup of tea, Tylenol and an early night. Sounded good to me!

I realized once I got in the tub, that I hadn't had a bath since I was pregnant. It felt ridiculously good to sink all the way in. I even chuckled when I looked down and saw my toes without a baby bump in the way! It was also nice to make the water piping hot without having to worry.

While I soaked in my quiet bathroom, I decided that I couldn't imagine not having a tub to soak in. One day when we grow up and buy a home, a tub will be an essential component. Do you ever fantasize about your future home? I think that even if we owned a place, I'd still dream about someplace different. In my dreams we'll someday own a modest 2-3 bedroom apartment in the City - how fabulous would that be?! (note: this is highly unlikely, but a girl can dream!) When I get to decorate or renovate my very own bathroom, it will require a nice, deep tub. Deep enough that I can sink all the way in without having to bend my knees! 

tubs found here, here, here and here

How deliciously decedent do these tubs look?! (Seriously, I sound like I'm talk about dessert. Ha! I like baths, what can I say?!) I think number 2 is my favorite. There's something about a tub in front of a window that seems so relaxing, especially with a City view!

A nice hot bath is almost like a mini vacation! It was such a wonderful suggestion, thanks Nan. Mom's medicine is always just what you need... :)

Snapshots of a weekend

This weekend in pictures...

Walk for Bladder Cancer

On Saturday, May 5th I will walk for Bladder Cancer Awareness along with my family and friends to honor the legacy of my incredible mother. The walk supports the Bladder Cancer Advocacy Network. It is the second year that BCAN has done a Walk for Bladder Cancer and the first that that there's been one on Long Island - my family actually organized the walk in honor of Mom. Without the hard work of my amazing sister, this wouldn't have been possible! (Jen, you are truly amazing! I love you!)

I walk with hope that others will not have to know my pain. I believe that awareness is the best tool for survival. Every day that I miss my Mom is a day that I commit myself to making sure that she was not taken in vein. Right now, that means fundraising. 

I have been completely floored and overwhelmed by the response that I've received from my friends and family. So far, I have raised $950! I am so grateful to have a network of people around me who are so willing to show support - both with love & prayers and financially by supporting my fundraising efforts. It's just another reminder that I have much to be grateful for.

Mommy, I hope that you're proud of the work that we're doing. Scratch that. I know that you're proud. What I hope is that it helps...

If you'd like to support me, you can find my fundraising page here. If you would like to walk with Team Long Island the details are on my page - you can just show up and register upon your arrival! To find a walk near you, click here.

My Nan

My Nan is incredible. 

I have always known this, but it has increased exponentially in the past year.

She took care of jack 3 days a week for almost a year and today she was back looking after both my boys while our babysitter took a day off. How lucky am I?!

Not only did she take the boys to the park, play with them and then clean up after them. She looked after me, since I've got a little cold. She stayed until we ate and the boys were in their pjs and almost ready for bed. It was so sweet.

I count my blessings for my Nan regularly. She's an incredible role model of strength and she always knows what I should do when something isn't right with my babes!

Thank you for everything, Nan.

This is my Nan will Wells when he was just a few hours old <3

Proud parent

Last week I spent a lovely day with my Dad. He came over and we went for a nice, long walk and just talked. Then when the boys were up from their naps, we all went out to dinner together. It was a great day, but the highlight came when my Dad was talking about Nick. 

Nick is graduating from Teachers College of Columbia University next week with his Master's degree. He started the program when I was newly pregnant with Jack and was able to balance teaching full-time with bringing home 2 babes and getting excellent grades - not to mention his being an outstanding, supportive husband and an amazing Dad!!

When Nick got up to use the bathroom, my Dad told me how proud he was of Nick and how much respect he has for all he's been doing. But then when Nick came back to the table, my Dad told him directly. It made my heart warm!

I am extraordinarily proud of Nick and his massive accomplishments! He has managed to take care of everything, often at the expense of his own sleep/rest/sanity. He has never once told me that he didn't have time to listen or support me, feed a baby or change a diaper... He always finds a way to make it work.

I cannot even express the pride I have in knowing that my boys get to watch their Daddy graduate from Columbia University! What an awesome role model!

But I could also burst with pride for my Dad's willingness to boast about his son-in-law. It seems difficult for men to speak so honestly about pride and respect, so I was so glad that my Dad was willing to tell Nick the things that he often tells me about him.

Babe, I am SO incredibly proud of you.

I am grateful for both Nick and my extraordinary Dad.

Happy Birthday my Sweet

My heart is completely swollen with love and gratitude. We had a beautiful birthday party today, where my boys were surrounded by love and friends! I was glad that I spent the day reflecting on this day 2 years ago, instead of last year... 

After a long but wonderful day, my Sweet (not-so-little) baby fell asleep in my arms, which is incredibly rare! It was his little gift to me. I couldn't help but think about the first night he fell asleep in my arms. It felt just as good tonight as it did then. 

I never thought that the title of "Mommy" would become my most treasured, but there ya have it. 

Jack, thank you for making me a Mommy and for filling my days with joy, giggles and love. You are my sunshine and I love you beyond words. 

Happy Birthday my Sweet xo