Dear Mom.

Again today, someone stopped me to tell me how much I look like you. I suppose it's a combination of my short hair and the fact that everyone is missing you...

Every time someone says this to my, I am completely flattered. It is such a compliment.

But then I instantly hope that they don't just mean that I look like you, but that I have the same warmth that you had. I hope that I can make people feel at least a fraction of the way that you made them feel... like they mattered.

Thanks for passing your smile on to me. 

I love you.

Dance it Out

A few years ago Gray's Anatomy had a storyline between Meredith and Christina where they would dance it out. Mainly, whenever they were stressed, they would turn up the music and just dance until they laughed and felt better. I think it came out when I was in grad school, because I remember relating to the idea and having a few fun dance parties. I also had a fabulous friend in San Diego who loved to dance it out - typically that happened on a Saturday night at the W hotel. Good times. Well Monday, I got to go to a fancy work event. Mind you, I had to work for a good portion of the night. But after those responsibilities were done, it was so fun to have a glass of champagne and dance it out. I don't go out dancing very often. I know, you're totally shocked by that, right?! But when I do, I always have so much fun. And I always feel better - aside from my feet, which are aching. This party was no exception. It was a ton of fun!

I'm grateful for the opportunity to go to these fancy events - even when I'm working them!  

I'm grateful that I got out for the night and had some fun. 

I am also totally grateful to my sister for finding me a fab dress! ;)

Things you never thought you would do... Until you're a Mom.

Today, as I was sitting on the bathroom floor pushing my boys "peepee" down to avoid being shot... I realized that parenthood is choc full of moments when you wonder to yourself... "who am I?!" I never in my life thought I'd do this... but there I was!

At the same time, I could have burst with pride for my boy who is asking to sit on the potty!! Being a Mom is weird. But it's also so fun. I never fully understood how your children could become such a huge focus. I balked at people who let their children become the center of their worlds. I think I get it now. Though they are not the sole center, my children are the core of who I am. And that doesn't mean that I have lost myself. It means that I have changed... evolved.

I love the moments when I laugh at something because I can't believe that I am doing it. Like sitting on the bathroom floor, helping my toddler aim. I love it.


Mom, I wanted to call you to tell you all about it so bad... My baby is getting so big! What happened?! I am so proud of him. I just wanted to tell you...and now I did. I love you.

Family Dinner.

Tonight my family all came over for dinner. My sister was here and then my Dad, Aunt, Uncle, cousin and Grandmother all came in. It was so nice! I love living close enough that everyone can come over for dinner.

I am infinitely grateful for the love and support of these incredible people.

My family is overbearing and crazy, but they are also so thoughtful, loving and compassionate towards one another. We all know that each other is hurting, but everyone does what they can to be supportive and helpful.

It's so nice and inspiring.

I couldn't imagine coping without them.

I love sharing a meal, some wine and my home with them. It was a wonderful evening!

My sister.

I love my sister.
 

She came to visit this weekend to hang out with us. We had such a nice time! My boys absolutely adore her. Jack was beyond thrilled to see her walk through the door on Friday night! She arrived in time to read him a book before bed. It was great. She's beyond helpful to have around! She is always going out of her way to pitch in; changing diapers or playing a game. She spoils me just as much as she spoils the boys, if not more!
 

We took the kids to story time, went shopping, went out to dinner and hung out. I just love being with her. I sometimes miss the pre-babies visits, when we'd get manicures and go out for cocktails, but one day we'll do those things again, right?! Once my little one starts sleeping more at night...I hope! ;)

It's hard for both of us, because it often used to be the three of us... Jen would come down to the City, then Mom would come meet us for dinner, shopping, drinks or a trip to the Met. We had many girls days/nights like that. Though we enjoy each others company, it's hard to not notice that something is missing sometimes.

I couldn't imagine going through this without her. This past year has taught me just how special siblings are.

Jen is not only my oldest, dearest friend. But she is also my past and my future.

I love her. And I love our time together!

Friends. Near and Far.

Today I am grateful for my beautiful friendships. I have mentioned before, that the past months have taught me just what friendship means and my gratitude continues today. I am blown away by the outpouring of love and support that people have shown me.

I finally decided to share this blog with my Facebook friends. Prior to today, I had only shared with a handful of people. I am truly overwhelmed by all of your responses and your beautiful comments.

My life is so full of love. I can't imagine anything better than that.

Thank you for reading, for sending prayers, for your support and most of all for your kind, beautiful words.

Thank you.

My Orchid

 This orchid was a sympathy gift to me from my work after my Mom died. It is so beautiful! 

Today a new bud opened. I couldn't help but snap a few pictures.

This was such a thoughtful, perfect gift. 

While most flowers die, this one is living and blooming. 

I just wanted to share.

I am grateful for this thoughtful gift.