I've been quiet for a while. It's been a tough few months and frankly, it's been difficult to find something positive to say.
This summer was filled with memories of a year ago.
When you told me that you were going to die, we cried at the thought of only 4 more precious years. Years. Ugh...
The plans we made when we thought that you wouldn't live to see your newest Grandson...
We took our last family vacation and savored a weekend together...
I turned 30, knowing it would be my last birthday with you.
These months have been unbearably difficult, and I'm certain that these next months will be no easier.
It's hard to feel so sad and lost, and so completely alone, when everyone around me seems to be living their lives. Moving on. Time hasn't stopped for everyone else, even though it feels like it should have.
Last week, on a particularly difficult day, I found Bethany's blog. It inspired me to find words and to keep writing. It reminded me that writing about my saddness isn't a cry for attention, it's real. It reminded me that gratitude and grief don't have to be mutually exclusive. Writing makes me feel less alone, and that is reason enough to do keep doing it. Thank you, Bethany.
So, here's to the future.